Lincoln joins a gym the day after the revelation that he is Beth’s Cute Guy. What a coincidence. I know he had mentioned the possibility before, but still. . . that’s adorable. He also spent 20 minutes combing his hair before work. ADORABLE. Beth has unwittingly reminded him that it’s possible for people to notice him. It’s the jolt he needed to start taking care of himself a bit more. She already finds him to be “very cute, kind, and compassionate— and also sort of funny,” so imagine what she’ll think of a guy like that who also goes to gym. And has the most beautifully combed hair. He’ll be unstoppable.
Lincoln apparently can’t wait to find out if he actually looks like Jason Bateman, so he drops in at the bank to talk to Eve. “Do you want to look like Jason Bateman?” she asks, cautiously supportive of whatever this is (148). That really made me laugh. I wonder where Eve’s mind went when it seemed that Lincoln really wanted to look like Jason Bateman, with absolutely no context. She confirms the resemblance, except she notes that Lincoln’s “a lot bigger than he is” (148). When Eve echoes Beth’s swoony observation about his size, Lincoln just has to leave, presumably before his huge, goofy smile draws too much attention. It’s great to read about giddy Lincoln right after those heartbreaking Sam chapters.
We also get a reality check amid the giddiness. Lincoln now feels weird checking the WebFence folder in front of others, even though that task is practically his entire job description. Clearly it’s become a ritual that he cherishes, which is not a healthy development. He knows that, but with all the recent talk of his cuteness, stopping will be harder than ever. He’s also learning that Beth’s love life is not as solid as it seems, which is surely giving him hope, even though it will really complicate things if he ever does meet Beth. Beth’s discussion of her now impossible love-and-marriage timeline is so personal; it’s painful to think that her Cute Guy is reading it without her knowing. Lincoln’s really dug a hole for himself.
- Update on the presence in Jennifer’s womb: it “is going to change — possibly destroy — the world as [she knows] it” (150). I love Jennifer so much.
- Lincoln’s mother’s suspicion about his new gym habit is one of my favorite things. “As if people should go around looking at each other and thinking, ‘My body is so far superior to yours'” (152).
A Recommendation (sort of)
Armageddon was on TV during the writing of this post and I decided to take it as a sign that I should focus on Beth and Jennifer’s movie crushes, Ben Affleck and Colin Firth. I headed over to IMDb to check out what these two were up to in 1999.
Ben Affleck is such a perfectly 1999 crush. It was just two years after Good Will Hunting, when we all still had faith in him and he was so, so dreamy. Armageddon was the worst, but we all just thought, “every rising star has to make a dumb blockbuster. He won’t let us down again.” Oh, well.
Colin Firth had done the Pride & Prejudice miniseries, The English Patient (snooze) and Shakespeare in Love (also with Ben Affleck!). He was in something called The Secret Laughter of Women in 1999, which seems to be available on YouTube. It doesn’t look great, but that title is drawing me in. If I don’t report back in the comments, assume it was terrible. Anyway, I guess I’m recommending that we all watch some late 90’s Colin Firth. My favorite is Pride & Prejudice, which has a double wedding scene that would surely warrant a two-star upgrade from Beth.